Stories: Closure, The Final Chapter

I shared a piece of this story in my post, Don’t Wait for Closure, Realize It. Now I would like to offer some closure, on, well, closure.

Here are things I have learned, experienced, or questioned along my path of seeking closure:

• It’s not about forgetting, it’s just being done with it.
• Being done with it means letting go.
• Stop thinking things should make sense. They rarely do.
• Wanting to know the reasons doesn’t really help with understanding.
• There is always a price to pay for harboring negative stuff.
• An apology or seeing someone regretful doesn’t change the past, and carrying around unrealistic expectations is exhausting.
• Explanations or excuses aren’t words of healing.
• Reality check: are there really Hollywood happy endings?
• Although it may seem nice, validation does not come from someone else.
• Seeking closure can give away control.
• Grief processing and healing require time and effort.
• Life is a work of progress through living, loving, and letting go.

It did turn out okay

Despite challenges, my life wasn’t all gloomy. I have treasured memories of a mom and grandparents who protected and provided for me. I even got a bonus dad. My mom remarried and my stepdad legally adopted my little sister and me, although I was an adult. He was a good man, always full of love and support. You might wonder why closure with my birth father was such a big deal to me. I don’t pretend to understand it either, but it has been an important part of my growth process.

I have to admit, my birth father was right about one thing: I turned out okay. Realizing closure, I know that everything I went through molded me into the person I am: strong, independent, kind, and empathetic.

God’s Word keeps me grounded and focused. Please share in the comments what keeps you grounded or your favorite verse.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10

“When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs. The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.” Psalms 84:6

“You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!” Psalms 139:5-6

I encourage you to read the entirety of Psalms 139. It is truly beautiful and uplifting because it was written for you!