People pleasing is like riding a carousel. We go up and down, and round and round, but get nowhere. Maybe I’m a little slow, but it took me years and years to acknowledge my addiction to people pleasing. I found my cure, my freedom, in God.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard M. Baruch
As a child, I internalized the effects of an emotionally detached parent. In my little brain I thought that if I behaved perfectly, got straight A’s on my report card, or (fill in the blank), I would receive the love and affection I craved.
This developed into rebellion as a teenager and I matured into a performance driven woman. Living this way is exhausting work. Sure, it can produce some great successes, but any failures burned my mind with red-hot coals of condemnation.
In living to please others, I lost my identity. I became a reflection of whoever was in my life. I would do whatever I thought they expected of me, to make them, and, I assumed me, happy.
Honestly, I am, and always will be, a work in progress. But aren’t we all? Seeking God everyday keeps me grounded, helps me form my priorities, and shows me I am special just as I am. God loves me in this moment, not for what I am doing, but for who I am — just me.
And He offers the same love to you, my friend. Just for today, stop striving and enjoy being with you. God knows everything about you and longs to lavish you with His acceptance and love. He wants to fill you with peace and the confidence that at this very moment you are enough in Him.
What is your “work in progress?” Please share in the comments below.
For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.1 Thessalonians 2:4 NLT